We Will Appear

“The score of life is not, or should not be, an endless blur of sixteenth-note intensities… Any routine of life that is unsustainable long-term cannot be of God.  He calls us to work.  But he also calls us to rest, in order to work most fruitfully.  What sets us apart is this.  We rest, in order to work; we do not work, in order to rest.  We who believe the gospel are not living for the weekend, but for The End (for eternity).  In the meantime, we figure out rhythms of life that make fruitful labor sustainable.“ - Ray Ortlund

Reflecting on this, two things really stand out to me:
1) The general truth that our rhythms in life should be viewed in light of their sustainability - I think of this not only with regard to our balance of work to rest, but in the balance of what happens to us and how we respond to it. How long can we be reactionary and immature and expect it not to unravel us like string on a runaway kite? On what or whom are we going to rely is really the question - for rest, for assurance, for hope. The most disturbing thing I see in an unbelieving life (even Christians who claim to believe, but are functional atheists) is the fact that they don’t like who they are, but have no real hope in really changing. They are just trying to feel better. So they go to the mall and buy something. Have another drink. Seek the temporary refuge in the arms of another. Try incessantly to earn a pat on the back. Run someone else down. It’s anesthesia, not medicine.  And anesthetizing is not a sustainable pattern in life.

2) Resting in order to work is the way to live, not the reverse. We have a purpose on Earth and, like it or lump it, a huge part of that requires us to be busy at something vocational. Raising cattle, kids, coins… you name it. Again, the saddest part of living in unbelief is the lack of real purpose and value as a guiding motivation. How long can you really be motivated if you don’t have a larger sense of meaning in life? If the meaning in your life is to eventually stop working so you can move to Coral Gables, wear white shoes and a visor, and drive a golf cart, then your chances of being deeply disappointed are immense. So many variables threaten the possibility of a fulfilling traditional retirement, or even the amazing weekend you’re begging for on Tuesday morning. But what if you could find deeper meaning in life on Tuesday - at work? What if the class you teach or the tables you wait are places to live out that meaning, even if they prove to be a temporary gig? How long can you be deeply dissatisfied where you are without unravelling in one way or another? In my experience, most people who are deeply dissatisfied where they are now somehow find a way to be deeply dissatisfied wherever they are later. It’s who they are. I know this, because I was this.

Trusting Jesus doesn’t always have practical implications. Sometimes it’s downright hard and thankless. But I have found it to be fulfilling and able to elevate my perspective when all I would otherwise like to do is escape the hard stuff. His purpose in my life makes the mundane work, the ridiculous volume of emails, the difficult people, the demanding kids and even the occasional injustice and pain a part of the bigger tapestry. I simply can’t imagine having 16,000 days (give or take) remaining in my life without some greater meaning than the hope of 5pm, the weekend and retirement coming as soon as possible. Talk about wasting your life.